Thursday, March 25, 2010
Easter and relatives visiting....
Next week my boyfriend's mom and step-dad are coming in to visit. They come every year around March or April. This year they are coming a couple days before Easter. I was not planning on being the cook for Easter. We were going to go to someone elses home, but now we have to stay home. I usually am the one doing all the cooking for the holidays, but this time I was looking forward to just relaxing. I like Dave's (my boyfriend) mom; I always have. It's just sometimes when they stay for a lengthy period, his mom can be a bit controlling and starts to take over like it is her house. I never say anything to her, but she sometimes can be rude. For example; the one year she was here at Easter, she made the whole menu, never asking what I or my son might like. When she told me what she planned on cooking, it was mostly a menu that my son would not like. When I mentioned that my son would not eat most of the items, her comment was, "Well, this is what I'm making and if you want your son to eat then you can make something different"! Now, normally I would not dwell on something like this................but it was Easter and I am a strong believer that at the very least, when holidays are here and family gets together, you should be thoughtful of one another. Not that you shouldn't be that way all the time, but I believe you should make an extra effort on holidays. The comment she made just got under my skin and she made me feel like my son and I were outsiders. So, needless to say, I'm a bit stressed that they are coming in for Easter. I know that some of you might say that this time I'm the cook, so I can make what I want...............but I'm not like that and I will have a menu that suits everyone. You might like everything, but then I will always have something to take it's place that you will like. When I cook, I COOK!!! Well, I was just venting a little. It's not as bad as I make it seem and I pride myself on my cooking. I love to show off in the kitchen!
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Hello Michelle:
ReplyDeleteAfter reading your blog about the visit you are expecting from your boyfriends family, it made me think about my ex-mother-in-law and how she was very controlling not of me but of her son. Whatever I said regarding our household whether it was the children or how we spent money, he would always go back to her and ask if this was the right thing to do or if my ideas were correct. Needless to say, this made me very very very angry and one day I confronted her about it, and explained that her son was now a man with a wife and two children and whatever we decided about our household she had no right to second guess or change any decisions I had enforced with my husband. After we had that conversation she no longer interfered in our business and although she was happy to see us get a divorce she knew I was not the one person whom she could control.
In saying that, I think you need to sit your boyfriends mother down and explain to her that this is your home and that even though you enjoy her coming to visit she has to respect you as well as your son. I believe this will open up room for you to express how you feel and you will not be stressed out by her visit.
Just a little suggestion, hope all works out for you.
I understand how you fill my mother in law was the same way for years and I just put up with it .Now that I am no longer with my exhusband she tells me that she should have listened to me because he is such a waste. Like I told her when in her home I did what she wanted but in my home I try to think as everyone equal .Maybe you can set up a menu for all of you before she gets there and include some of the things she likes as well. Do not wait for her to do the menu have it ready before hand . If she wants something eles let her make it but by all means do for your child and your self . Enjoy the resorection and new life of the lord not the ho hum of past problems and I promiss it will be better for all of you.Happy Easter. Patty
ReplyDeleteI want to say thank you for the post on my blog .It helps to hear what others think and if they have any thing to add to your own thought . I have been doing just as you said and he has gone to a few jobs to check them out but nothing as of yet . He was invited back to the one offer after he gets his sugar down a bit . He was on a bus for 31 hours and ate a bunch of crap and it made it go up so now he has to listen to my nagging for a while to get it back down to where it belongs . Then if the V.A. passes him for a physical he has the job. Water -water, vegies, salids,fruits a few. fish, chicken. no fried foods at all no pasta, no rice, no patatos, no sodas. I will get out my whip lol
ReplyDeleteHi Michelle,
ReplyDeleteI hope for your last post you will tell us how Easter dinner turned out because you certainly have made me curious!